Assalamualaikum Mufti Saab,
I have been married (love marriage) 6 yrs for now and have 3 kids, i work in Saudi and my wife decided to return back to India 1 yr back with kids as we were having a lot of problems living together. But now it seems problems have increased further. My wife hates me and everything about me. She claims i have wasted her life and i am a trial from Allah for her. She wants to leave me & find a better man once our kids grow older. I am helpless and have given up as i am not able to find the root cause as there seems to be so many problems. I have accepted that i am a bad person but day by day it is becoming more tougher and her insults are only increasing for minute unnecessary issues. Allah asks us to be patient through our tough times but how do i know what i am going through is a punishment or a trial from Allah? Also taking a divorce will only impact children or it is better to seperate now itself? If I really am a trial for her and i will end up in jahannam eventually, does it make sense to end my life now so that my kids will not be impacted because of me? Suicide is haraam yes but doesn't fatwa change depending on the person's case?
Lastly, she has called me a lot of things, miser is one of them which hurts me most, but i give charity but in secret for sake of ikhlaas, is Allah testing my ikhlaas by making her call me miser and that I only run after Duniya?
Lastly i would request you to pray for my kids that our problems do not impact their Duniya and Aakhirah, this is the last thing i want.
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
You are advised to be patient stay courageous and keep trying to overpass the situations.
Patience during adversities and afflictions is the conduct of a believer, cause of reward and elevation of status in the sight of Allah (SWT).
Lack of strength under misfortunes, coming of suicidal thoughts is cowardice, which is unbecoming of a brave hearted man. In any case, suicide is illegal and forbidden (haram) in Islam.
Allah forbid, if such satanic thoughts come to mind, read “Ta’awwudh”, shun those thoughts, and continue to extend the rights of your wife.
Consult with elders of the family to help resolve these issues.
In addition, after each prayer, recite this duaa:
طس طسم حمعسق مَرَجَ الْبَحْرَيْنِ يَلْتَقِيَانِ بَيْنَهُمَا بَرْزَخٌ لَا يَبْغِيَانِ
May Allah (SWT) rectify your situation and bless your life with convenience and respect.
فقط واللہ اعلم بالصواب