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I am a female, 34, who works and lives in the US and my parents are living with me. I manage all the household expenses in the US and sometimes send money back in India for my brother(32). My brother looks after my father's business which is not as lucrative so I financially support him too. My mother loves my brother dearly and I noticed that if I dont buy him expensive gifts she gets upset to the extent that she does not wish to take any expensive present that I'd like to give her. So my question is am I obligated to spend exhorbitantly on my brother only because if I don't then that would upset my mother and I would be a sinner?
بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
:الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
Islam teaches kindness to relatives, and there is much emphasis on taking care of their rights. In that is the kindness towards your kith and kin and fulfilment of their necessities if they are in need.
In your case, where the brother is employed, manages his own expenses and is not disabled in any way, then it is not necessary to give him large sums of money as a gift. Give only as much as you can, according to your capability and comfort. It is not permissible to be angry and resentful for not giving more. Rather, it is an abuse of your kindness, so you are not a sinner in this.
Even when you give money but with disgust because of your mother’s pressure, it is not permissible for the brother to accept and use it, because according to Shari'ah rules, wealth given with goodwill is halal, and given without goodwill but due to pressure is not halal.
In case the brother does not earn sufficient enough to meet his bare expenses, financial assistance can be extended just enough to cover his necessary expenses. But even in doing so, not you alone, but all inheritors are required to share the brother’s maintenance expenses according to each heir’s share in the inheritance.
In a situation, where none of the heirs is rich enough, and you are the only well off person, then you don't have to spend a fortune, but only as much as you can afford, and just enough to meet his basic sustenance and not more.
وَالَّذِينَ يَصِلُونَ مَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَنْ يُوصَلَ وَيَخْشَوْنَ رَبَّهُمْ وَيَخَافُونَ سُوءَ الْحِسَابِ (سورہ الرعد:۲۱)
من سرہ ان یسبط لہ فی رزقہ وینسأ لہ فی اثرہ فلیصل رحمہ ۔(رواہ البخاری، حدیث:۵۹۸۶) فقط واللہ اعلم بالصواب۔
وتجب ایضا (لکل ذی رحم محرم صغیر اوانثی ) مطلقاً (ولو) کانت الانثی بالغۃ صحیحۃ (او) کان الذکر (بالغاً) لکن (عاجزاً)عن الکسب (بنحو زمانۃ کعمی وعتہ وفلج زاد فی الملتقی ٰ والمختار اولا یحسن الکسب لحرفۃاو لکونہ من ذوی البیو تات (درمختار مع شامی ص ۹۳۷،ص۹۳۸ ج۲ باب النفقہ)
فقط واللہ اعلم واتم