Assalamualaikum Alhumdulilah I am living with my husband from 10 years he's very caring and respectful to me and my family we have 3 children's , but I am unhappy with him and seeking for Khulla for only one reason all those 10 years I always see him interested in other girls when we go out he always watch girls ass and breast and keep looking and stare at them , he was in love with his colleague worker I stopped him from talking and meeting them , I gave him enough chances each and every day , but my only problem is he is interested in each n every girl like talking to them , watching them at work places or around him .. and I seriously doesn't like it he even told me he has sexual desires for one of the girl which I couldn't even get out of mind. Is it jayaz for me to take Khulla ? He's doing very Good as a husband or father . But I am really really unhappy that he stares girls everywhere we go and talk to girls .
please let me know the process to khula ? Or my khula Reason is Jayaz or not . I Gave him enough chances .
بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
Since your husband takes full care of your rights and those of your combined children, so it is better not to ask for “Khul’aa” for now. Instead, exercise the following steps:
a. Assist him in getting rid of this bad habit.
b. Involve elders in the family to help resolve this issue.
c. Create an environment of learning “deen” at home.
d. Encourage him to sit in the company of religious scholars, in the Masjid and elsewhere.
e. Ask him: “how will you feel if some other man starts gazing at your sister, daughter or mother in that manner. If that upsets you, why do you then look at other people's sisters, daughters, and mothers, especially when you don't like this to happen to your female relatives?
Whenever you notice such ill gazes, remind him of above reasoning. Remind him to imagine the disgrace in front of Judgment.
Also narrate to him the narration that:
“The Holy Prophet (SAW) saw some people on His journey of Ascension, that in front of those people was halal and clean meat in a pot, but they were eating from the other pot, which had foul-smelling and bad meat. Upon inquiring, it was told that those were the people who, though having a wife, left the halal way and fulfilled their lusts in a haraam way with a foreign woman”.
If he still does not stop his lustful gazes at foreign women, “khul’aa” can be taken. The process to take “khul’aa” is:
a. for the wife to ask her husband to release her in exchange for the dower or against a certain amount of money, and husband said I have released you.
b. or the wife asks her husband to give her “khul’aa” in exchange for the dower or against a certain amount of money and the husband says that I have accepted “khul’aa”.
c. or when your husband himself initiates that I give you “khul’aa” in exchange for dower or against a certain amount of money, and the wife replied, I have accepted it.
Any of the above statements will establish “khul’aa”, and one irrevocable divorce will take place with no regression. However, both can get remarried during or after the 'iddah’ period, along with a new dower by the husband.
If the situation drives towards “khul’aa”, then instead of announcing it verbally, it is better to have it documented in the presence of two witnesses.
ولا بأس بہ عند الحاجۃ للشقاق بعدم الوفاق بما یصلح للمہر۔ (الدر المختار مع الشامي ۳؍۴۴۱ کراچي)
السنۃ إذا وقع بین الزوجین اختلاف أن یجتمع أہلہا لیصلحوا بینہما، فإن لم یصطلحا جاز الطلاق والخلع۔ (شامي ۵؍۸۷ زکریا)
۔کذا فی الفتاوی امدادیہ ج۲ص ۷۶(۶۵)۔ ھو ازالۃ ملک النکاح المتوقف علی قبولہا بلفظ الخلع او مافی معناہ ۔ الخ‘‘
فقط واللہ اعلم واتم