With great pain and heavy heart, I have to write this and describe the issues I face. I could not go to anyone here in USA, all our immediate family is in India and we could not trouble them with what we face.
I sincerely seek help and I plead someone elder or scholar to please help us.
We are married for 15.5 years, have two children that we love very dearly (8 year girl and 2 year boy,we are 38). But between us we never found peace and bliss that a good marriage brings. From my perspective as husband, I have very hard issues with some of the behavior and comments passed on to me by wife's relatives and in reaction, we had great arguments and I felt very rejected, never loved and understood, my reaction because of this feelings might have made wife sad. She sometimes threatened to harm herself, but I could not do anything and don't know what I can do. This same kind of things happens very often. We are living in very delicate situation day to day, and not sure how it can get improved. I have lost all the feelings.
Other very tragic thing happened today, in the fight, wife asked she wants to leave, for which I said yes and she said if she gets divorce then she will leave. I told her one time Islamic divorce (talaq). Now, we don't know what is legal sharia way to move forward. We don't know how can we live together. I myself, prefer to separate, but I could not force it, as I understand how difficult it will be for a separated woman to live here. I also have high concern for my kids, which I love and could not live without. But at the same time, I can not live like this and very sure it is creating troubles for all of us.
Can someone please help us and guide us?
الجواب وبالله التوفيق
In the situation described in your question, one Talaq-e-Raj‘i(revocable divorce) has taken place. The ’Iddat for this divorce is 3 consecutive menstrual cycles, during which your husband has the right to reconcile and take you back. The husband can reconcile by an action to express his affection for you, having a physical relations ship with you or just by even saying that he takes you back.
If the husband does not take the wife back during the period of ’Iddat, then in order to reconcile after that, the two will have to renew their Nikah. The husband will have the right to issue 2 divorces in the future.
اذا طلق الرجل امراتہ تطلیقۃ رجعیۃ او تطلیقتین فلہ ان یراجعہا فی عدتھا رضیت المراۃ بذٰلک ولم ترض۔۔۔۔۔
(الھدایۃ کتاب الطلاق)