Divorce

السلام عليكم,

I have an unfortunate situation that I like to know answers for.

My husband and I have been married for 22 years. Living here in the states this whole time. We disagreed about a variety of issues. My husband injured my feelings a lot, and I have poorly controlled my emotions. It never got better through out all these years. We have 3 kids. My husband said the word Talak to 3 times. First: during a bad fight/disagreement. Second: during another fight 20 years later, I ask him to say it and he did (I was on my period). Third a year later during a heated argument, he threatened to divorce me and I said then do it now, he said that word.

We have spent time apart (within the same house) many times, at times, we discussed divorce but never went through it.

Other than our disagreements and him not appreciating me and his beliefs of men being superior to women, I have no complaints of him as a father or as a provider in general. I also know that he is affected by this and does not truly want us to be broken.

Based on the information I provided, what is your fatwa?

جزاكم الله خيرا

السلام عليكم،

Nadjet

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
We write this answer with the tawfeeq of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Based on the accuracy of the details described in the question, If your husband did ruju' qauli or amali after the first and the second talag then three talaqs (irrevocable divorce) have taken place and you both become strangers to eachother and it is not permissible for both of you to live together. After the iddah period you are free to marry whomever you pleases. However after nikah e thani if unfortunately that marriage also ends in divorce or the second husband diesthen after completing your period of iddah, nikah with your first husband will be permissible otherwise not

فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا تَحِلُ لَهُ مِنْ بَعْدُ حَتَّى تَنْكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَة [۲۲۵۰ : البقرة] عَنْ عَائِشَةَ : أَنَّ رَجُلًا طَلَقَ امْرَأَتَهُ ثَلَاثًا، فَتَرَةَ جَتْ فَطَلَقَ ، فَسُبِلَ النَّبِييُّ : أَتَحِلُ لِلْأَوْلِ قَالَ : لا ، حَتَّى يَدُوقَ عَسَيْلَتَهَا كَمَا ذَاقَ الْأَوَّل.ُ [۵۲۶۱ صحیح بخاری] عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ سَعْدِ فِي هَذَا الْخَيْنِ قَال:َ فَطَلَقَهَا ثَلَا تَعْلِيقَاتٍ عِنْدَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَنَّ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ، فَأَنْقَدَّهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم، [۲۲۵۰ : سنن ابی داود]

 
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