Do gifts need to be given to children equally?

Question

Assalamu Alaykum, 
I would just like to know whether parents must give gifts to their children equally. Say one kid graduated college, and the parents give him a car. Must the parents give all children equally in that they all need to get the equivalent of a car? Or is it that he must give them each a car when they graduate? Also, if one child as an adult disrepsects, curses, and acts evily towards parents, are parents still required to give an equal gift to that child? Also, if a kid is getting married, can they get more gifts than other children at that time? Also, say a mother has lots of gold. If she is giving it to the children once they are adults, and one of the siblings is very evil and curses the parents/ psychologically abuses them, do they still get to have some of the gold in gifts (not talking about the will, just gifts)? Sorry for all the detailed questions. JazzakAllah Khair!

Shariah Board of America · Accepted Answer

بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
:الجواب والتوفیق من اللہ
Whatever the parents have under their ownership, they can dispose of it as they wish. However, it is &ldquo;mustahabb&rdquo; to maintain similarity of value of gifts and presents given to their children.
However, due to piety and service, occupation of religious services or need, it is recommended to give more to some and less to others. But the disobedient children should not be given more than their capacity or more than they can afford.
عن النعمان بن بشیر رضي اللہ عنہ وہو علی المنبر یقول: أعطاني أبي عطیۃ، فقالت عمرۃ بنت رواحۃ: لا أرضی حتی تشہد رسول اللّٰہ صلی اللّٰہ علیہ وسلم، فأتی رسول اللّٰہ صلی اللّٰہ علیہ وسلم، فقال: إني أعطیت ابني بن عمرۃ بنت رواحۃ عطیۃ، فأمرتني أن أشہدک یا رسول اللّٰہ! قال: أعطیت سائر ولدک مثل ہٰذا؟ قال: لا، قال: فاتقوا اللّٰہ واعدلوا بین أولادکم۔ قال: فرجع، فردّ عطیتہ۔ (صحیح البخاري : باب استحباب التسویۃ بین الأولاد في العطاء،رقم: ۲۵۱۵)
ولوا  عطیٰ بعض ولدہ شیئا دون البعض لزیادۃ شدہ لاباس بہ وان کانا سواء لا ینبغی ان یفضل  ولو کان ولدہ فاسقا فاراد ان یصرف مالہ الی وجوہ الخیر ویحرمہ عن المیراث ھذا خیر من ترکہ لان  فیہ اعانۃ علی المعصیۃ ولو کان ولدہ فاسقا لا یعطی لہ اکثر من قوتہ خلاصۃ الفتاویٰ ،ص ۴۰۰، ج۴) ونقل  ایضا عن المحیط یکرہ تفضیل بعض الاولاد علیٰ البعض فی الھیۃ حالۃ الصحۃ الالزیادۃ فضل لہ فی الدین وان وھب مالہ کلہ لواحد جاز قضاء وھو آثم(البحر الرائق: ۷ /۲۸۸)
Fatawa ID: 1245