Fatawa Answer

Question: Wife rights to not divorce

ID: 1778

Name: Marriage and Divorce

Question

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh:

I have a question about marital rights on the woman with regards to a husband forcing a divorce, or give up rights to my nights as a second wife.

In my particular situation my husband has a second wife and he says he no longer wants be at my home in the night due to a situation that has occurred with our adult children. He says I no longer have children staying in my home therefore he wants to be in the home where there are underage children. For reference we have been married for 32 years, and he has been married to the other wife for 34 years. I have four adult children and the other family has 8 (of which 1 is under the age of 18). He states if I stay but give up my nights he will financially support me, however he will only come to my home occasionally and never for nights. It has been 3 months since he has stayed overnight at my home and usually comes once a week. He just keeps stating divorce is allowed if he can not be fair to both of us. He also states if I do not give my nights he will just divorce me.

 

Answer

بسم اللہ الرحمٰن الرحیم

:الجواب وباللہ التوفیق

It is obligatory upon the husband to treat co-wives equally when sharing his time between them, and most of all sharing his nights. Because of his unfair and favoring treatment of one over the other, he will incur divine punishment in the form,  that he will come before the witnesses on the Day of Resurrection with one half of his body hanging down. Therefore, it is not permissible for your husband to display above behavior. It is obligatory on the husband to treat equally between his two wives in matters that are controllable such as financial support, staying overnight, good treatment, eating, drinking, gifts and the like, otherwise, he would be a grave sinner. 

However, this ruling is not compulsory in out-of-control matters such as love and inclination of the heart, since these feelings of heart are beyond one’s power. 

If your husband imposes a condition to divorce you if you don’t accept his demand, that is cruelty and abuse of his power, which is not allowed in Islam at all. His reasoning that your children are adults, so he can’t live with you, is totally absurd. That is not a valid reason to skip your turn. 

However, if you want to willingly give up your right to keep your future stable and maintain this great relationship of marriage, you are allowed to do so. In-Shaa Allah you will be greatly rewarded by Allah (SWT) for this sacrifice of yours. Although he has no right to abandon your turn. 

If your husband can't maintain equality between both his wives, as is apparent by your statements, we suggest you try to work it out through elders of your family. May the Almighty Allah (SWT), bless you with the best resolution of this issue. 

﴿ وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوْا فِي الْيَتَامٰى فَانْكِحُوْا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِّنَ النِّسَآءِ مَثْنٰى وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِ لُوْا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانِكُمْ ذٰلِكَ أَدْنٰىأَلَّا تَعُوْلُوْا 

النساء:۳

    Translation:And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hand possesses.That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.(Surah: Al Nisa’).

It is narrated in the below blessed hadith: 

عن أبي هريرة، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: "من كانت له امرأتان، فمال إلى أحدهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائل

سنن أبي داؤد،باب في القسم بين النساء،ج 3 ،ص 469،دار الرسالة العالمیة)

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (RA) that the Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever has two wives and leans towards (i.e., favors) one of them (over the other), will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning". (Sunan Abu Dawood 2/242). 

الدر مع الرد میں ہے

"(يجب) وظاهر الآية أنه فرض نهر (أن يعدل) أي أن لا يجور (فيه) أي في القسم بالتسوية في البيتوتة (وفي الملبوس والمأكول) والصحبة (لا في المجامعة) كالمحبة بل يستحب۔ وفی الرد:قال في البحر: قال في البدائع: يجب عليه التسوية بين الحرتين والأمتين في المأكول والمشروب والملبوس والسكنى والبيتوتة، وهكذا ذكر الولوالجي ۔۔۔۔(قوله والصحبة) كان المناسب ذكره عقب قوله في البيتوتة لأن الصحبة أي المعاشرة والمؤانسة ثمرة البيتوتة. ففي الخانية: ومما يجب على الأزواج للنساء: العدل والتسوية بينهن فيما يملكه، والبيتوتة عندهما للصحبة، والمؤانسة لا فيما لا يملكه وهو الحب والجماع۔۔۔ (قوله بل يستحب) أي ما ذكر من المجامعة ح. أما المحبة فهي ميل القلب وهو لا يملك. قال في الفتح: والمستحب أن يسوي بينهن في جميع الاستمتاعات من الوطء والقبلة، وكذا بين الجواري وأمهات الأولاد ليحصنهن عن الاشتهاء للزنا والميل إلى الفاحشة، ولا يجب شيء لأنه تعالى قال {فإن خفتم ألا تعدلوا فواحدة أو ما ملكت أيمانكم} [النساء: 3] فأفاد أن العدل بينهن ليس واجبا۔۔۔الخ."(کتاب النکاح،باب القسم بین الزوجات،3/201)

 

Answered On: Friday, Aug 18, 2023 | N/A

Answered By: Mufti Mohammed Ataur Rahman Sajid

Checked By: Mufti Mohammed Navalur Rahman