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Fatwa Answer
Assalaam Alaikum,
I am married for the last six years, I love her. The only time I find her interested in sex when we wanted the 1st baby, Now many months passes with no sex. Now even I have stopped asking for sex anymore. She always has a reason saying I have to pray and will have to take bath, she only takes bath on Fridays.
We hardly have sex, I have been doing lot of masturbation and lately, this is so much increased and I am feeling it will affect my health. I know it not permissible in islam but I tried fasting and all other things its six years now.
When I complain and say that I have needs, she asks me to bring one more wife. She says that because she knows I can't, because of laws in US and my financial condition. I love my kids a lot and want them to have a good family life as I got back in India. I don't even want to divorce her. And she knows I will not cheat on her.
I really need some suggestions other than fasting and patience. My patience is ending six years and counting. The is nothing that can be done from her, I gave up there tried everything.
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
Among the rights of a husband over his wife is
that whenever he calls his wife to his bed she must immediately comply with his demand. If the wife does not agree without a genuine reason, she will be called disobedient.
Hazrat Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that the Holy Prophet (SAW) said: “When a man calls his wife to his bed (for intercourse) and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angles keep on cursing her till the morning” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).
While the purpose of “nikah” is procreation, it is also a means to live a life of chastity. Otherwise the intent of “nikah” becomes meaningless.
It must be obvious that masturbation in the presence of a wife is a bigger crime.
1.Therefore, make your wife aware and explain to her the “Shariah” rules in this matter and the associated warnings.
2. The second option for the time being would be to relocate yourself to another country and do the second “nikah” over there.
3. In some cases the women also need treatment to straighten their sexual behavior. To explore this option, consult a qualified doctor/ gynecologist or hakeem for treatment.
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَأَبَتْ، فَلَمْ تَأْتِهِ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا، لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ»(سنن ابی داود: کتاب النکاح ،۲۱۴۱)
The advice on fasting and patience is for the person who for any reason is unable to get married and the sexual desires keep bothering him. Since you are a married person, advice for you has been given above.
فقط واللہ اعلم بالصواب