Salam o alkium
Mufti sahib my wife is demanding Divorce , we have 2 daughter age 20 and 14 and boy 22years of age we have been married 23 years she keep brining the past things that happened 20 years ago and wont let go, I do not drink smoke and have no bad habits yes I was short temper years ago could not stand her screaming at my face and will slap her to shut her down I have been faithful husband and take care of my kids but my WIFE never appreciates anything she grew up in broken family and her brother also divorce her cousin all are divorce and re married , iam not perfect but iam trying but she cant stop throwing my imperfect past and never happy I must decide in 2 days please advice asap
الجواب وبالله التوفيق
The concept of Nikah in Islam is to help the husband and wife fulfill their natural desires in a permissible and civil manner, have pious offspring and thus lead to an honorable and upright society. These are no doubt the noblest of causes and both husband and wife are responsible for the fulfillment of these causes. In order for the fulfillment of these goals, unity between the husband and wife is a must at every turn of their lives. As the team effort of both individuals become a source of barakah. Just as this team work leads to barakah, it also has a potential to generate unique set of challenges. That’s why during one’s married life there comes such times when the husband and wife clash intellectually or through their actions or one transgresses over the other. These times are no doubt a test from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta‘aladuring which the parties are expected to think deeply, havea cool mind and display selflessness, leading to a fulfillinglife, full of contentment. This can only be brought about through the positivity of thoughtand without bringing up any acts of clash or disagreements from the past as thatwill only lead to the loss of serenity of present and future. One is tested during such times of difficulty to display their nobility, stature and the goodness of their character. Without displaying such noble behavior and conduct the real goals of Nikah are either not achieved or if achieved they are without any barakah.
As per the situation described in your question when the husband is remorseful on his acts from the past, fulfills the rights of his family and makes firm intention to strive towards further betterment and is unwilling to issue divorce at this time, then in this case the demand of divorce from the wife is considered unjust andimpermissible. Becauseafter the display of positive attitude and firm intention to improve in future by the husband, there is no reason left for demanding divorce. Rasulullah Sallallaho Alyhi Wasallamhas said:
A woman who demands divorce unjustly, even the smell of Jannah will becomeharam upon her.
In the given situation the husband and wife should contact an authentic aalim near their vicinity and request them to provide some advice and counseling to resolve any outstanding issues.
واللہ اعلم بالصواب